Sometimes plans don’t particularly work out…or maybe they do, depending on how you look at it.
I’ve been struggling to figure out what to do with this blog. Initially, I wanted it to be a companion blog for my Youtube channel. I eventually found myself asking: why would I have a blog that is saying the same thing as my Youtube channel, just in writing? Of course, I can go into much more detail in a blog post than I can in a video, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that this was not what I wanted. I want my blog to be an extension of who I am and about the God that I’m learning more and more about each day.
So I’ve decided to make this blog more personal and relatable. I’ve noticed that people like blogs that are human, showing emotion and vulnerability. We are all on a journey and it’s nice to have someone to go with. So with that being said, I’ve decided to post more consistently on this blog and not just when I want to point people to a Youtube video that I’ve made. I plan to commit to my blog like I’ve committed to my YouTube channel over the past four months; I will be posting a new article every two weeks on this blog. Sometimes it may be related to my YouTube videos or it may just be a general life update and what God has been showing me through it all.
I am striving for more relate-ability and connection. It’s not really even about having a flourishing YouTube channel or blog. It’s all about connecting with others and getting to know Jesus.
Although I may have lost sight of my plans with this blog, I have now found a much better purpose for it. Maybe my plans worked out after all.
Have you ever felt deep down in your spirit that God was calling you to do something? You may not know exactly what that something is, but you know that you are pregnant with a dream, an idea, a purpose. You feel this purpose tugging at you everyday, even in your moments of idleness. You know that you have to begin the pursuit but you don’t particularly know where to start. So you don’t. You sit on it for awhile, only to come back to it a few more times. You may even start testing the waters with some of your ideas, but give up too quickly because you see no progress. Nobody’s watching you. Nobody’s paying any attention. Therefore, you give up.
But then that nagging feeling comes back…and this time with more intensity! You’re not sure if it is because you’re getting older and time is ticking away, or if you are legitimately sensing something. So you try it again…only to run into the same failures. But this time you stick them out a little longer. You’re getting stronger, but the fire somehow dies slowly. Eventually, that spark you had is gone. Your dreams, your ideas, and your purpose may lay dormant for a while.
But then it comes back. And you know what you have to do. This time you know that you can’t give up because God is calling you to your purpose. So you start something…even if you don’t have all of the details, the facts, and the money worked out. You have hope that God will lead and guide you as promised in Psalm 32:8: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
So what do you have to lose? What do I have to lose? Romans 8:31 says, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
The above has been my struggle for six years. I have gone back and forth, struggling with my gifts and my talents. Not knowing what I am supposed to do with my life. But finally, after years of confusion and pain, I’m about to give birth to something special. Something that will help many people, especially women, to grow in their own journeys with God. I may not have it all figured out (most people don’t in the beginning), but I have a feeling that I am on the right path. Jesus Christ told us to go out into all the world and make disciples (Matthew 28:16-20). I will be using the talents and skills that God has given me to do just that.
Stayed tuned for more!